It’s official. You cannot deploy EVER again. Joshua... I am serious... Do you know what this deployment has done to me? I HAVE GRAY HAIR.
Like, not just ONE strand of gray hair, but SEVERAL.
I am twenty-five years old!!!!!!! This is all the deployment’s fault! Before you left, I did NOT have gray hair. If you deploy again it will all probably turn WHITE! I can’t have WHITE hair! I can’t even have GRAY hair!!!!!
I did not find these gray hairs. Last night, I was getting my hair highlighted and my hairdresser found them. She said, “Oh! You have gray hair!” And I said WHAT. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME? She found a patch with four strands, and she said she’d color them but I made her pull them out. Then she found more.
OHMYFUCKINGGOD, I CANNOT HAVE GRAY HAIR!!!!!!! Am I really that old? Do I look old? I could cry. I can see getting gray at 50, maybe even 40... But not 25. :-(
So please, come home and stop deploying or else you will have an old lady wife waiting on you. And just think... This is only halfway through deployment... Not even, a few days shy. But the time you get back, I’ll have a whole head full of gray hair. Oh my god.
I love you. Please still love me even though I’m now an old lady with gray hair. Please? I have gray hair.
[He called me before he received this and I warned him he had a nasty MotoMail coming his way from me... I don't think he believed me! About the gray hair, that is. I am seriously disturbed by this development... GRAY hair?!]