01 July 2010

Uncertainty

What is it like to quit the job you love to be with the person you love? I guess people do it... It isn’t smart, especially at a time like this, but... People DO do it, right? Ali on The Bachelorette did it. Why am I comparing my situation to a reality TV show? I don’t know. I guess because I don’t really have anyone or anything else to compare it to. She loved her job, and she quit it to find love. That’s something, right? And I’ve already found love, so I’m one step ahead.

I’m just so scared. Of not having money, of not finding another job, of going into debt when I already have debt. It’s all financial worry. I have never for one second questioned the idea of moving to be with Joshua, or our relationship, or our future. That is the only thing I am sure of. I’m just scared of leaving behind the things I’ve worked so hard for, and starting over. What if I don’t make it? What if I’m not good enough, or talented enough, or disciplined enough to make it on my own as a designer? What if the market doesn’t get better, what if we don’t get reassigned and we stay in Jacksonville for another four year enlistment? At least if we got reassigned, I’d have a better chance at finding a design job at a firm or agency if freelancing doesn’t work out. My closest bet near Camp Lejeune is Wilmington, and even that is a slim shot. If we got stationed in Quantico... I could work in DC. I’d have a better chance, a better Plan B. I need a Plan B. Plan A is what I want, but it’s too... Uncertain.

     

What is Plan A, you ask? Quitting my amazing job as a packaging designer here in New York, and moving down to Jacksonville to start a graphic design freelance business out of my home. Online. So my career becomes “portable” and I can take it with me wherever we get stationed, since the love of my life is a die-hard career Marine.

Really, though, I want to design invitations.

Wedding invitations, baby birth announcements, save-the-dates, party invites, engagement announcements, etc. But because it’s all so big and scary to me, I’m going to start off with what I’m good at: graphic design. I love design, and I’m comfortable doing it. Packaging, logos, business cards, magazines, newsletters, brochures, signs, posters... It’s what I do. I wish I could get into web design, but I have to learn it. Even after a course in college, web design doesn’t come easily to me and all the coding is confusing. So I’m going to stick to what I’m good at at first, and then hopefully branch out into more stationery/invitation type designs. Then hopefully photography. Then hopefully web design. Maybe. Someday.

I hate uncertainty.

7 comments:

  1. your doing good!!!! It will fall into place!!! Life is unpredictable... be with your love as long as you can!!!

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  2. I am sure it will all work out! You are doing a very great thing by giving up something you love for the PERSON you love!

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  3. Annie is right. You are so talented and you guys are going to be fine! It is scary but it will all be worth it when you get to wake up next to Joshua every morning!

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  4. I'm sure it will all work out for you. At least you will be with the person you love.

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  5. Maybe you can start selling some stuff on Etsy so you can build a client base?? I'd love to see your work!

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  6. Uncertainty is something I hate as well. However, if you are giving something up to be with the person you love most, that is a great thing! Everything will fall into place. Trust me!

    Maybe start a cafepress store? Design military stuff? Just a suggestion. =)

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  7. I just found your blog today, its great by the way. Anyway I’m not sure how much you know about the area but if you’re looking for me design jobs you should look in the Raleigh-Durham area. It’s about 2 hours from J-Ville (well, 2 hours to be exact) and it’s a much bigger market than Wilmington with more opportunities. I doubt you’d like to drive 4 hours everyday but maybe you could work part-time? I know it’s a long shot but hopefully something like this could work out!

    Either way I hope everything works out!

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