27 September 2010

This-Close

I feel like I've been holding my breath for 7 months and I can almost just almost let it out. I'm going to have to learn how to breathe again... How to walk without feeling like I'm tiptoeing around eggshells. How to sit without being on the edge of my seat. How to sleep... without my phone on the pillow next to me. How to get through an entire day without playing every worst case scenario over and over in my head. How to answer the phone without the first words from my mouth being "Are you okay and do you have all your body parts and did you get any concussions?!" How to say "I love you" without worrying it'll be the last time I hear it back.

If these are the thoughts going through my head... which believe me, they are... I can't even begin to imagine the thoughts going through his head.

The homecoming sign is waiting to be hung. The kitchen cupboard is stocked with all his favorite snacks. New bottles of shampoo and body wash are lined up neatly in the shower, new razors and toothpaste and a toothbrush on the shelf by the sink. I picked up all his favorite magazines and set them on the coffee table. I bought all the ingredients to make his favorite cookies. I'm washing all his clothes to freshen them up.

It doesn't seem real. Will this really be over soon? Will he really be home again? Has anyone else ever felt this way, or am I just nuts? I wasn't like this the first deployment... I was sane, I think. More sane than I am now. Oh, my.

It's going to be an interesting ride!

8 comments:

  1. Woot! You're almost there! I'm excited FOR you!!!!

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  2. Woohoo!!!! So exciting!! I bet you are happy!! I'm glad you made it safely down to North Carolina. And yes, the craziness is normal! =)

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  3. Oh, sweetie, I'm so excited for you!! My husband is about to come home on his R&R & although I know we still have a while to wait afterward, it's so exciting to think about him being here with me again! I'm really happy for you that your hunny is almost home for good!! HOORAY! ♥

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  4. Yay!! I'm so happy for you! I'm about to go through our first deployment, so I can't really answer the craziness question, but I'm SURE I'll be the same way.

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  5. Such a nervous yet exciting time!

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  6. i hope you take pics with your sign... i wanna see!

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