07 March 2011

My Wifey

When our guys are deployed, we all need a wifey. I didn't know what a "wifey" was until this last deployment, when I heard friends saying it and it immediately clicked. A wifey is the first person you call when you have something exciting to share or good news to tell. A wifey is also the first person you call to talk you down from the ledge when you're going through the worst of the deployment blues. Often times, your wifey is the only person you'll want to see during this time, because she's the only one that truly "gets it." Her boyfriend/husband/fiancé is more than likely going through the same thing, and you can be together to talk about how much it sucks (without being annoying), talk about everything but deployment (when you need to get your mind off it), or to not talk at all.

In my experience, a wifey is basically your husband's replacement while he's deployed. You can vent, eat with, laugh, cry, be excited, be miserable, and not worry about being judged by your wifey. You still have your family and other friends, and talk to them and rely on them as you always did, but when your lover is missing, you need your wifey. And when you find her, your friendship will last for the rest of your lives.

On Joshua's first deployment to Iraq, I met a girl through an online Marine wife support group, Kim. Kim lived in Maine and I lived in New York, and we only saw each other once the entire time our men were gone. But we had the phone... and email... and Facebook. And even though we don't talk now as often as we did then (her lover is now out of the military), I was invited to Kim's wedding a year or so ago. I couldn't attend, but then this past Christmas Kim contacted me and asked me to design a newlywed Christmas card for her and her husband. I love Kim!

On Joshua's second deployment to Afghanistan, I was lucky to have a few really close friends... Genna, Debbie, Liz, Kristine... they were all awesome girls who offered great support. But my #1 wifey was and always will be Felice. We have a different relationship, because we met in the 5th grade and we've been friends for over 15 years now! I basically consider Felice to be my sister. I don't have any sisters, and Felice is my closest friend because we've both laughed and fought together over the years, and been through so much together.

A couple summers ago, Felice was planning to spend her vacation between nursing school in North Carolina. Joshua and I suggested she meet up with Christian, his closest friend in the Corps, for a "summer fling."

Well... their summer fling turned into so much more. Felice has since graduated nursing school, moved down to North Carolina permanently, and is planning their wedding for this coming August! And you'll never guess who her maid-of-honor is. ;-)

Anyway, Christian just deployed unexpectedly last week, and as I type this my wifey is on her way up here to spend a few days with me! I'm so happy she's coming, I've missed her so much!

A wifey is the person who reads your blog when you first start it and you don't have any followers, then calls you instead of leaving a comment to let you know she's read it. I love you, wifey!


  1. i love you, your blog, and your wifey, so glad I got a glimpse of your new life in Quantico today! :) genna

  2. Yes, I know all about wifeys. (I call mine my surrogate spouse.) And that's wonderful that your wifey is able to visit. Have fun!

    Visiting from the Mil Spouse Weekly Roundup. Have a great weekend!

    Wife on the Roller Coaster


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